One Night In Gotham
by Liam2
Summary: Diana has a birthday wish. Only Batman can grant it. What begins as harmless fun turns into a night of reflection, with a fight against one of his most infamous rogues to top things off.
1. Chapter 1

_So, a few notes. This is based upon the DCAU. As such, I've tried as best as possible to remain within that continuity. __It's been ages since I've written any kind of fanfiction, and first time of this type, meaning superhero/animated. In the past year, I've really fallen back in love with the DC universe, rediscovering all the animated series, video games, and comics. So, I thought I'd give this a shot. _

_This was originally gonna be a one or two shot, kinda silly and fluffy. But I had too much fun and ended up expanding the story greatly. It's gonna be six parts, approximately, and I'm nearly finished with it. So no worries about it remaining incomplete. Anywho, if you enjoy, please review._

**ONE NIGHT IN GOTHAM**

**PART ONE**

Since arriving in Man's World, Diana had come to relish opportunities for assimilation. Of course she was proud of her Amazonian heritage, and Themyscira would always be her home. But Man's World was her daily life. And though initially confused and hesitant about many customs and ideas of the land, her natural curiosity and enthusiasm eventually won out.

Flash and Superman were instrumental in helping her acclimate. They exhibited a child-like glee for the world in many regards, and their enthusiasm in helping a newcomer along was simply infectious. And they were also so welcoming and patient when she didn't understand something.

Flash introduced her to rock music. The loud sounds, the timultuous beats, the piercing vocals. They had startled and bewildered her at first. But fear quickly turned to fascination. And now, Diana possessed the largest vinyl collection of rock of anyone aboard the Watchtower. She had even garnered a reputation for plugging her iPod into the monitor womb computers, pumping out hair metal or grunge over Watchtower's intercom system. Once she even lead a rendition of Hendrix's "All Along the Watchtower", getting over thirty other League members to sing along. League rules forced J'onn to formally reprimanded her over the incident, but the barest hint of a smile played at his lips as he did so.

Superman introduced her to holidays. His particular favorite was Christmas, and while Diana enjoyed that one, she found Halloween particularly exciting. Though Batman didn't seem terribly enthused to discover that Alfred had altered one of his old costumes for her. And it probably didn't help that at the Watchtower Halloween party, Diana walked around, flapping her cape in an imposing manner, shouting, "I am the night! I have brooding to do!" Flash regretted it the first, and only, time he repeated her words in Batman's presence.

For all the strangeness, danger, and confusion of it, Man's World wasn't the irredeemable cesspole she was raised to believe. It could be fun, exciting, and beautiful. There was Motley Crue, baseball, flavored coffee, and romance movies.

And birthdays.

Birthdays celebrations were practically unheard of on Themyscira, given they were a race of immortals. The years tended to blend together until they were indistinguishable. But on Man's World, it seemed only natural to celebrate the day when a loved one entered the world. For mortals only had a short span. It was one custom that Diana took to quite easily, for it afforded her the opportunity to honor her fellow teammates and warriors individually.

And so, with Flash, Superman, Green Lantern, and even Batman, Diana made sure to prepare a special gift on their respective birthdays. And with J'onn and Shayera, both being aliens and not having a birthday corresponding with the earth calendar, Diana simply designated a random day as their "birthday".

Diana smiled. Sometimes she thought that was Batman's biggest complaint about revealing his identity to them. Bruce Wayne's birthday was well known, thus his teammates could now celebrate his birthday.

She didn't expect any reciprocation, but the other founding members seemed to enjoy the personal moments shared during birthdays. Even Batman participated, though his gifts always consisted of an envelope full of cash.

It turns out, the day of her "birth" corresponded with March 17. And on that day, upon the conclusion of the Founder's Meeting, her friends "surprised" her with presents.

"Happy Birthday, Diana," Superman said, kissing her lightly on the cheek and offering his present. She opened the package and grinned widely. It was exactly what she expected and hoped it would be. A container loaded with Martha Kent's double fudge delight brownies.

"Hee!" She actually squealed before biting into the first. Around a mouthful of chocolate, she said, "Ann tll yur mm tnkx."

"Will do," Superman grinned.

Lantern approached. His gift had been in the open the entire meeting, though Diana dutifully tried not to examine it too closely. It was built like a bo staff, with a foot long center grip, the color and texture of ivory. From there, each end tapered into blades, approximately two feet in length.

"I acquired this on a mission to Calypso a few months ago. Their princess presented this to me as a gesture of thanks. It's called a _Thro-cah_, I think. A ceremonial weapon presented to warriors of distinction."

Diana took the blade and held it reverently. "Oh, John, I can't take this. It was awarded to you."

"Somehow, I think if the princess met you, she wouldn't mind. Besides," he said, a twinkle in his eye, "I don't need a weapon." He held up his ring hand for emphasis.

Diana took him in a tight embrace and whispered her thanks.

Then came Shayera. The two would never be close friends again, but in recent times they had begun to reclaim at least a portion of their past relationship. She gave a basket of scented bath oils and perfumes and shrugged. "It's not a pointy weapon, but at times just as satisfying."

"Thank you, Shayera," Diana smiled.

J'onn approached with a plain white box. Diana opened it to find black turtleneck sweater.

"Oh, J'onn, thank you."

"You're most welcome, Diana. I find knitting to be an extraordinarily relaxing exercise."

Diana blinked. Everyone else thought perhaps they misheard, too. "You knitted me a sweater?"

"I did." As Diana stared at him, J'onn thought perhaps he had miscalculated. But when Diana threw her arms around him, he knew he hadn't.

"That's so sweet. Thank you."

Next was Flash. From behind his back, he produced a vinyl issue of Def Leppard's _Pyromania._ Diana laughed as she accepted the present.

"Not to be a buzzkill, but I already have this one on vinyl."

Flash looked smug. "Not this one, you don't. Check the sleeve."

Diana pulled out the record sleeve and saw a message scribbled in black marker.

"_To Diana, Princess of the Amazons. Strong, fearless, and pretty as a _Photograph_. From your number one fans – Joe, Steve, Rick, and Pete"_

Diana lost her breath for a moment. She looked to Flash in amazement. "You got the members of Def Leppard to personally sign an album for me?"

Flash acted like it was no big deal. "Well, you know, they owed me one."

Diana offered a hug and kissed his cheek. "This is beautiful. Thank you." Flash blushed a bit and again gushed how it wasn't a big deal.

And then all eyes turned to The Batman, who continued to sit silently in his customary seat during the entire gift giving. Without batting an eye, he said simply, "What? I'm not good at present giving."

"Did you forget your wallet at home?" Superman joked.

Batman rose to his feet with a scowl. But Diana simply smiled sweetly and slowly walked towards him. "It's okay, Batman. I was born Amazon. While I appreciate and love the tokens my friends see fit to give me, I'm not so selfish as to think I need material goods."

"Wise philosophy," Batman said. Looking past the rapidly approaching Diana, he said to Superman, "I assume the meeting is adjourned?" Without waiting for a response, he said, "Good."

But before he could leave, Diana was upon him, her delicate fingers around his wrist. Batman stopped cold, refusing to look at her.

"However," Diana said, "the fact you didn't even try is disappointing. I mean, we're all friends here. And everyone of us would at least make the effort for another. Am I correct?"

Their fellow heroes nodded and smiled, agreeing with Diana's comments. Batman tried to turn a glare on all of them, but it only brought his white lensed eyes around to hers, and her sinfully adorable pouting face.

"But you can make it up to me," she said.

With considerable restraint of emotion, Batman coolly answered, "I can?"

Diana nodded. Her fingertips continued to dance, slowly up his arm. "There's one thing that I want. One thing in all the world that would mean so much to me."

The other Founders watched, astonished. Each had become aware of Diana's growing crush and infatuation with Batman/Bruce. But for her to be so blatant, it seemed remarkably out of character. And Batman, for once, appeared to have no idea what to do.

"It's something I've dreamed about," Diana continued. "Something that I've tried to build the courage to ask you for."

Batman cleared his throat, trying to regain a semblace of control. Difficult given the most beautiful woman he'd ever known was looking at him like...that.

"I want this so badly...Bruce," she murmured, her hand pressed to his chest. Her face drew near, her lips ever closer. So entranced, he didn't even correct her for using his name. "We only live once, Bruce," she continued. "Can you really deny me this?"

Batman blinked, grasping onto the last threads of logic in his mind. "Diana...the reasons I gave..."

She shushed him, pressed a finger to his lips. Her own lips edged ever closer to his ear. He felt a warm puff of breath against his earlobe. It took all his strength to mask the delicious shiver that threatened to run down his spine.

"Bruce...Batman...I want..."

Batman gulped. Couldn't stop himself from asking, "What do you want, Princess?"

Diana smiled her sultriest smile. Where did she learn to smile like that?

"I want...to drive the Batmobile."

It took approximately six seconds for her comment to breach his hazed mind. And when it did, he expressed his confusion succinctly, in true Batman fashion.

"Wait, huh?"

END PART

_Yeah, I'm gonna have fun with these two. I hope I keep them in some semblance of character, at least how they're portrayed in the animated series. Again, please review if you enjoy._


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, short chapter. But the cliffhanger on these first two parts seemed natural, so I went with it. Starting with Part Three, they'll be getting much longer. _

**PART TWO**

Batman stared blankly. "You want to what the what?"

"I want," she smirked, "to drive the Batmobile."

It wasn't often Batman found himself caught so far off guard. But at this moment...well, that seemed a wholly inadequate descriptor. Of course, judging by the slack jawed faces around the room, the other Founders were in the same boat.

Batman was well aware of the reputation of the Batmobile. There wasn't an automobile magazine in the world that hadn't written articles on it, remarking on its design and speculating about its capabilities. Gordon even told him how magazines and car collectors by the dozens wrote to GCPD each month, hoping to somehow score an interview with Batman and discuss the car.

Batman was also aware of the effect the Batmobile had on certain segments of the female population. Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Batgirl, and Harley Quinn had all made various remarks over the years, professing their...respect...for the ride. The Batmobile was a babe magnet, to borrow a phrase Nightwing might use. Somehow, Batman never expected Diana, Princess of the Amazons, to fall into that category. But despite all those thoughts flickering through his mind, the most immediate was-

"You don't even have a license."

Perhaps not the most sensible of arguments, given the scheme of things, and certainly a weak one. To begin with, the Batmobile itself wasn't even technically street legal. So equivocating over the lack of a license was, frankly, silly.

He should have just said no. Cool, simple, and purely Batman. No one went against him when he said "no." Then again, saying no to those eyes was a more daunting feat than squaring off against Darkseid.

"Sure I do," Diana said.

Batman didn't quite understand. "Sure you do what?"

"Have a driver's license."

Batman blinked. "When did you learn to drive?" The answer quickly became apparent. Out of the corner of his eye, Batman saw Flash surreptitously moving towards the exit.

"Wally taught me," Diana explained, unaware of the murderous thoughts the Dark Knight was now harboring.

"Did he now?"

"Mmhmm. He gave me a book with all the laws and regulations. Then he rode...What did he call it? Shotgun? Yes, shotgun. And instructed me as I learned to drive his van."

"And he helped you get your license."

"Yes, Wally was very helpful. He took me to the Central City DMV last month and got me all sorted out. And he didn't even laugh when I revealed my plans to ask you about this."

His eyes fixed upon Flash, delivering the Batglare equivolent of Defcon Six. His scarlet clad colleague squirmed. "He didn't?"

"Nope. Though he said I should ask you something." Suddenly Flash's eyes went wide and he began waving wildly at Diana, pleading with her to stop. But Diana didn't notice, so focused was she on Batman.

"And what did Flash say you should ask me?"

"If the Batmobile has a backseat spacious enough for 'necking', whatever that is. I assume it's important?"

"Oh, Flash was just being silly. He just doesn't know when to stop."

Flash gulped.

"I keep it in my room. Would you like to see it?"

"Yes. I would love to see your driver's license."

Diana rushed off to retrieve her new license. When she disappeared, Batman turned his full attention on Flash. The Scarlet Speedster tried to hide himself behind the combined bulk of Superman and Green Lantern. But as Batman neared, the Glare in place, both heroes had the good sense to stand aside and leave Flash to his fate.

Flash braced for impact. But instead of a punch to the face, he felt an arm loop over his shoulder. And when he opened his eyes, daring a look, he saw Batman gazing down upon him, a tight smile on his face. It was the most terrifying thing Flash had ever seen in his life.

"I'm sorry," Flash croaked.

A deep, gutteral rumble emanated from the Batman. "You will be," he agreed. His eyes never left the Flash. "Would you all mind giving Wally and me some privacy?"

The other Founders slowly filed out the door, giving their best encouraging smiles and gestures. It might have been a funeral procession, the sensation that hung in the air.

"Guys?" Flash gulped. "Guys? Oh jeez."

After his little "talk" with Flash, Batman took a few moments to consider how he would gently reject her request.

It was absolutely silly to think of. Not just the idea of Wonder Woman driving his car, but rather, the idea that anyone besides himself would be allowed behind the wheel. Dick had never been allowed to drive it. And now that Tim was of legal age, Batman had already denied several requests to take the Batmobile for a spin.

But when Diana presented him with her license, completely authentic and issued by the state of Missouri, that knee weakening smile upon her face, suddenly the word "no" vacated his vocabulary. He knew he needed to be firm. If he caved on something as important as driving his car, who knew what else he might relent on? A date? It was critical to both the mission and his image that he deny her.

"Tuesday night," he said. "Bruce Wayne doesn't have anything scheduled. We can head out early before I patrol."

Shit. That wasn't a denial. What kind of Amazon magic was she wielding?

Diana laughed and threw her arms around Batman, not quite believing how easy he relented. Batman stood stiffly, not reciprocating the hug. "Should I let you go now?" she asked after a few moments.

"Please."

Diana obeyed, but his hesitance on physical contact did nothing to eliviate her happiness. "Thank you, Bruce," she smiled.

Batman grunted, then turned towards the door. Before he left, a thought popped into his head. "Can you drive a stick?"

"A what?"

"Shit."

**END PART**

_Yeah, I realize in Batman:TAS, Batgirl drove the car on two occasions that I can recall. But hey, a tiny bit of creative license. Oh, and if you like, please review. Seriously. Please?_


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, boys and girls, this is where the fun starts._

* * *

><p><strong>PART THREE<strong>

When Alfred discovered what had transpired, he insisted on making a full evening of it.

"I shall have dinner prepared at seven," he declared. "From what I recall when Miss Diana stayed here after the Thanagarian Invasion, she exhibited a fondness for Italian cuisine."

"This isn't a date, Alfred. I'm giving her a driving lesson."

If Alfred heard him, he chose not to acknowledge. "With your permission, sir, I would like to examine the wine cellar to find a suitable accompaniment to the meal."

"I distinctly remember a time when I was in charge around here," Bruce grumbled.

"I recall also that she greatly enjoys strawberry shortcake. I have a delightful new recipe that the Princess might enjoy."

Bruce sighed. "Do as you see fit, Alfred."

"I thank you, sir, for your good faith. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Yes. Leave me alone with my memories."

"Very good, sir. Remind me to have your blue Armani suit pressed. You always look quite dapper in it. I'm sure Miss Diana will agree."

"Sigh."

* * *

><p>Diana teleported into the Batcave at precisely 7:12 Tuesday evening – twelve minutes later than agreed upon. Not that Bruce was upset by that. On the contrary, it was difficult to be irritated at any woman who wore a strapless Valentino dress the way she did. She was simply breathtaking.<p>

Bruce took the small carry-on bag she brought. "Alfred said dinner would be a formal occasion and that I should pack other attire for driving."

"Did he now?"

Diana nodded. "He also said you wear the blue Armani quite handsomely." Her hands brushed over his broad chest, finally finding his tie and giving it a slight adjustment. "I concur."

Bruce cleared his throat. No need to get too caught up in her hands roaming his body. "You're usually not tardy for an appointment."

"Sorry. All the girls said I needed to be fashionably late. I'm unsure why. They said twenty minutes, but I got restless."

Bruce stopped on their way up the stairs. "Hold on. The girls?"

"Yes, the other girls in the League," Diana explained as though it should be obvious.

"Such as?"

"Shayera, Zatanna, Dinah, Helena, Beatriz, Tora, Courtney, Mari..."

Bruce held up a hand, stopping her before she went through the full list. "So they all know you're spending the evening with me?"

"Mmhmm," Diana nodded.

Lovely. Barring an emergency, Batman didn't anticipate returning to the Watchtower until the Founder's Meeting on Friday. That was plenty of time for the rumor mill to kick into high gear. And knowing Zatanna like he did, she'd be fueling the fire unabashedly. Though outwardly he exhibited indifference, he was well aware that his old friend had annointed herself President of the Batman/Wonder Woman shippers brigade. Since the Circe incident, Zatanna never ceased to pester him on the topic whenever they came together.

Bruce sighed. Nothing could be done now. If he changed his mind and sent her away... Well, that might give the rumor mill something else to talk about. A topic not near as flattering. Though he purported to be above such things, Batman did have a reputation to uphold.

"Apparently Alfred knows better than I," he said. "He's running a bit behind on dinner. Leave it to him to take _fashionably late _into consideration."

* * *

><p>Dinner went fabulously. Bruce wasn't used to a female dining companion with such a voracious appetite. The models and actresses he was forced to wine and dine to preserve his cover identity tended to pick at their food, always concerned about their figure.<p>

Diana, however, easily packed away seconds and was contemplating thirds before Alfred reminded her about dessert. She indulged in two plates of strawberry shortcake and cooed happily when Alfred promised she could take leftovers back to Watchtower.

"Hungry, I take it?" Bruce teased.

"Hush," Diana shot back. "I eat most of my meals in the Watchtower commissary. Allow me to stuff myself when I get to eat real food."

"So you're saying there's a problem with the food service company I hired?"

"Of course not. The fair they provide is simple, basic, and functional. I would expect nothing less from The Batman."

Bruce's eyes narrowed into a glare. But he couldn't hold onto his irritation, fabricated as it was. Especially not when Diana was grinning at him so cheekily, licking her fork clean.

"Any other complaints in regards to my space station?" he inquired.

"The mattresses could be comfier," she automatically replied. This was obviously a topic she'd considered before. "And is there a reason why there's hardly any color aboard Watchtower? Everything is either white, or pearl, or cream..."

"Anything else? How's the laundry detergent?"

"The detergent is fine, but we could use an extra washer or two. On Wednesday and Saturday nights, all the girls do their laundry. It makes for an excellent time to socialize, but someone always must wait for a machine to become available."

Bruce stared. "Are you telling me the women of the League have set nights to do their laundry so they can...gossip?"

"Yes," Diana enthusiastically replied. "It's a wonderful bonding experience. I haven't felt such togetherness with my Sisters since Themiscyra when we would gather after a hunt."

For once, Bruce didn't have a ready reply.

* * *

><p>In the Batcave, Diana climbed behind the wheel of the Batmobile while Batman sat shotgun. The grin on her face was a mile wide. She shifted in her seat, settling into the leather cushions. Her fingers traced the steering wheel lovingly, then grasped it firmly.<p>

"I believe I understand the male infatuation with vehicles better now," Diana said.

"Oh?"

"I've heard much discussion that a big, powerful car has phallic symbology, and that anyone driving such a conveyance must be compensating for genital inadequacies."

"You've heard that, have you?"

"Yes. And Mari seemed of the opinion that you fell into this category."

Batman gritted his teeth. "Did she now?"

"Mmhmm. Though I've not been in position to confirm, I was going to defend your honor. But Zatanna was there and she was quite adamant that theory was untrue. At least in regards to you."

Batman turned his head away. He'd never been more thankful the cave was so dark. It hid his blush well. Not that Diana wasn't able to read him perfectly.

"Please, Bruce, there's no need to be embarrassed. I'm well aware that you've bedded other women. A warrior of your prodigious talents would be expected to. History is full of such tales."

Was it possible to die from blushing?

"Though it's counter to what I've been taught as an Amazon, I confess, that's part of your allure to me. If I were to share in the gifts blessed to me by Artemis and Aphrodite, it should be with a warrior such as yourself, one who has claimed so many important victories."

"..."

"And I hope you're not ashamed that Zatanna described how false Mari's statement was. You should be proud to possess such a prime example of the male form. I truly believe you would be inspiration to the sculptors of ages gone by."

Batman coughed, cleared his throat. He couldn't bring himself to meet Diana's eyes. So instead he just pointed.

"The left pedal is the brake, middle is the accelerator, right is the clutch..."

* * *

><p>Batman had to give Diana credit; she was a fast learner. That said, he was still glad he took the time to swap in an old gearbox. There was no sense ruining a new one while training a driver inexperienced with operating a manual transmission.<p>

But again, she learned fast. And after the fifteen minutes, she only occasionally slipped up during a shift. During that first half hour, he instructed her to stay out on the sparcely driven highways and routes just outside of Gotham. Now that her confidence and skill was growing, he felt more comfortable letting her take the car into the city itself.

Truth be told, it was joyous to watch an Amazon princess tear down a highway at ninety miles an hour, howling "Wee!" the entire time. Not for the first time tonight, and despite the embarrassing moments, Batman realized he didn't regret agreeing to this.

"So what's that button do?" she asked, pointing to a green button.

"Releases five hundred caltrops out the back."

"And this one?"

"Passenger ejector seat."

"And this one?"

"Manual override, should the vehicle not automatically reinflate a damaged tire."

"And this one?"

"It's the radio."

"Ooh! Music!"

She flipped the button and suddenly a news station flowed from the speakers. She furrowed her brow. "Where are your presets?"

"No presets. That's the station I listen to."

"_You're listening to WKGC 101.3. Gotham City's only twenty-four hour radio news network."_

Diana stuck out her tongue, like an infant fed something particularly disgusting. "That's _all _you listen to? News?"

"I like to stay informed," Batman said.

"Bah! Where's the tuner?"

Batman pointed out the tuner and Diana immediately began to channel surf. With each station, she passed out a comment.

Country. "Not a chance."

Classical. "Not tonight."

Rap. "Not EVER."

Pop. "I just...no. No."

She paused on the opening strains of a song. Her eyes lit up excitedly. "Volume! Where?" Batman again pointed and watched as Diana cranked it up.

"Do you know this one?" she asked.

"Vaguely."

"Decent album. Not their best. But I have it on vinyl if you wanna borrow it."

"I don't really—"

Diana let out a loud "shush!" and he instantly obeyed. She tapped the steering wheel in time with the drum beat and began to hop and sway in her seat, head lolling left and right, back and forth, her dark tresses flying everywhere.

And then she began to sing.

"_Have you seen her? So fine and pretty  
>Fooled me with her style and ease<br>And I feel her from across the room  
>Yes, it's love in the third degree<br>Ooh, baby baby  
>Won't-cha turn your head my way?<br>Ooh, baby baby  
>Ah come on! Take a chance<br>You're old enough to_

_Dance the night away_  
><em>Whoa-oh Come on girl, dance the night away"<em>

She didn't have the greatest voice. But Batman found himself entranced by her enthusiasm and self-confidence and total disregard of the possibility of looking silly.

_"A live wire, barely a beginner_  
><em>But just watch that lady go<em>  
><em>She's on fire, 'cause dancin' gets her higher than<em>  
><em>Anything else she knows<em>

_Ooh, baby baby_  
><em>Won't-cha turn your head my way?<em>  
><em>Ooh, baby baby<em>  
><em>Well don't skip romance 'cause<em>  
><em>You're old enough to<em>

_Dance the night away_  
><em>Oh-oh-oh Come on girl, dance the night away"<em>

Van Halen faded away, to be replaced by Bob Seger. While she continued to hum and sing along to "Her Strut", the fervor of "Dance the Night Away" was gone. Batman found himself missing it.

"I never took you for a rock chick," Batman marveled. "The whole culture seems to run counter to Amazon beliefs."

Diana shrugged. "True. I occasionally run into blatant sexism and other immoral behaviors. But there's something to be said about the unabashed passion, vitality, and potency of the performers and the similar feelings they can evoke. And I believe anything that can produce such emotion and fill someone with such life is more a good thing than bad."

Batman listened to her points with interest and understanding.

"That said, if my mother caught me listening to Van Halen, she'd lock me in my room until she could perform a purification ritual."

Batman busted into laughter at the imagery of a teenage Diana being grounded. And it took several more moments before it struck him that he was, in fact, laughing. And judging by the awed expression Diana wore, she couldn't believe it either.

"I don't think I've ever made you laugh before," she marveled. Her face actually began to flush. "That's...cool."

"You say cool?"

"I say cool. Wally insists I learn colloquial expressions so that I won't appear to be a spaz when we hang out."

"And do you and Wally hang out often?"

"Yes." His face must have indicated surprise. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Batman. Natural, I suppose, given that we typically only interact during meetings, missions, or charity events. Wally is a dear friend."

Batman tried not to react too strongly to the pang of jealously. Wally, The Flash, and Diana, Princess of Themyscira, were apparently buddies. How much more did Wally know about Diana than he did?

He schooled his features to display his passivity. "And what do you do together?"

"Lot of movies. Sometimes go to a bar." Were his face uncovered, Diana would have seen Batman's eyebrows raise into his hairline at the thought of her in a bar. "Last week we went to a hockey game. It really is the most exciting sport to watch live. Last month we went to a rock concert. My Bloody Alice opened for XKCD at the Central City Pavillion. We were hoping to see a concert next month. Arsenic and Old Lace is having a one night only reunion show in Metropolis. Tickets sold out in five minutes. Sucks. I adore that group and this might be the last time they ever perform together."

He didn't know why he was surprised. She'd been in Man's World for years now. It shouldn't come as a shock that she'd developed a life in it. And she was absolutely right. Beyond league business or the occasional charity function, they rarely interacted.

For that, Batman felt a deep sadness well in his chest. The surge of emotion caught him offguard. He was never one to seek out relationships or personal interactions. But at this moment, he wondered why the hell he'd never made more effort to know Diana. Though his typical Bat-logic shouted in the depths of his mind, at this moment, they truly seemed like the pathetic excuses Diana claimed them to be.

And she seemed to read his mind. Diana shrugged, trying to allay his thoughts.

"I understand you're not a people person. I would love it if you shared in those activities with me, but I don't expect it, and I would never strong arm you into doing so. I'm contenting myself to what our relationship appears destined to be."

The Bat screamed at him not to ask. But he did anyway. "And what is our relationship destined to be?"

Diana sighed. A deep release of breath that conveyed so much more than her words ever could. A heartache so palpable that Batman's practiced stoney visage nearly came down like the Berlin Wall.

"Professional."

"And you're okay with this?"

"What choice do I have? You'll never consent to more. And I'm too proud and value you too deeply to proceed as my Sisters would have in days gone by."

"How would that be?"

"In the days before immortality, it was necessary to replenish our numbers the way nature intended. Sisters would seek out a suitable man, ravish them, and once pregnancy was confirmed, return to the island. Were these the ancient times, no Sister would question your fitness to sire a future Amazon."

Batman wasn't sure if her clinical description of his worthiness to father a child was arousing, disturbing, or both.

Diana shrugged again. During the entire interchange, she kept her eyes fixed on the road, carefully avoiding Batman.

"Though it goes against modern Amazon philosophy, I would enjoy taking you as my lover. And given our circumstances, I doubt my mother and older Sisters would fault me for doing so. But I won't actively press for it. While I would _like_ you as a lover, I do not _need_ you as such. I need no man. I am content in knowing my intentions are understood by you, and if you should alter your beliefs, that I am willing to invest further." She finally spared him a glance. "Am I understood by you?"

Batman was leaning towards arousing. "You are," he simply answered.

"Good."

Before he could marvel at their conversation or reflect too deeply upon it, Alfred's voice suddenly sounded, overtaking the Grand Funk Railroad on the radio.

_"Sir, pardon the interruption of Miss Diana's birthday festivities, but Mr. Gordon apparently requests your presence."_

Batman glanced up and out the window. The Batsignal reflected in the night sky. "Thank you, Alfred." He turned to the driver of his car. "Diana, I'm sorry, but this is where we call it a night."

Diana tightened her grip on the steering wheel, a smirk growing on her face. "Nope," she said. Her thumb found a small button on the wheel. With a press, the Batmobile's afterburners engaged, and they were racing towards police headquarters.

It seemed their interesting night was only getting started.

**END PART**

* * *

><p><em>Random notes! The band names. I think My Bloody Alice is a cool name. Were I ever in a band, I would wanna call it that. XKCD is the name of the best webcomic out there. Check it out if you don't know it. And Arsenic and Old Lace comes from the old Cary Grant movie. And as for the choice of Van Halen, well, who doesn't feel like dancing and singing to that song?<em>

_So who will the mysterious rogue be? Place your bets! And while you're at it, review! Reviews make up for the love I didn't receive as a child. _


	4. Chapter 4

_For those of you who have reviewed, thank you so much. For those of you who haven't...I know where you live. Just sayin'. And you have very tasteful furniture. Including you, person who lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan._

* * *

><p><strong>PART FOUR<strong>

James Gordon, after a long and illustrious career with Gotham PD, knew to expect the unexpected. He'd already had one surprise this evening, delivered to his desk less than an hour earlier. And when Batman appeared on his rooftop, he got another.

His back was turned and he was in the midst of taking a deep drag off a cigarette when Batman said, "Jim." Now long used to his friend's sudden stealthy arrivals, he didn't even spill his lukewarm cup of coffee. At least, not until he turned around and noticed Batman wasn't alone.

Gordon choked on a puff of smoke at the sight of the reknowned Amazon Princess. He hastily flicked the cigarette aside and brushed his hand against his trench coat, wiping it clean. He accepted the hand Diana offered, awkwardly bowing in the process and even offering a light kiss against her knuckles.

If he'd been attentive to Batman, he would have received a third surprise that night. The sight of Gotham's Dark Knight offer a fleeting smirk of amusement.

"Your Highness," Gordon stuttered. "My apologies, I didn't expect royalty upon our rooftop. May I get you some coffee?"

Diana, ever used to such reponses, smiled kindly. "No, thank you, Commissioner. I appreciate your kindess. And please, I go by Diana."

"I must say, Your- Diana," he amended, "it is truly an honor."

"For me as well, sir. When Batman has spoken of you, it has been in the highest esteem."

"Really?" Both glanced towards Batman, who faced away from them, staring out into the city. Always focused, always attentive. Gordon decided to move on. "Perhaps we can exchange our favorite Batman stories another night?"

"Of course. I frequently find myself at events in Gotham. I'll seek you out."

Gordon blushed, pleased at the consideration, before turning to his long time colleague. "Seems an old friend has returned from the dead."

Gordon reached into his trench and removed a file, handing it to Batman, who took several moments to study. Even behind the white lenses, Gordon saw the incredulity reflected in his eyes.

"Impossible," was Batman's reponse.

"From what you told me, I thought so, too. But I have a couple other casefiles in my office that bear similar signitures."

"She died, Jim, because I couldn't save her. I watched it happen."

Gordon took a drink of what was left of his rapidly cooling coffee. "And yet, years in Gotham City have taught me the impossible happens a little more often than the word implies."

"Ahem. I realize I am but a guest here, but isn't it rude to speak in code before me?"

Gordon startled again, momentarily forgetting her presence. Batman, however, didn't seem fazed. Not that he ever did. His focus never wavering from his city, he said simply:

"Poison Ivy."

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, Batman and Wonder Woman were at Jasmine Labs, a biological laboratory specializing in flora research. Specifically, they were checking the labs cryogenic freezer, a subzero containment unit used to house seeds of all sorts in long term storage.<p>

Diana watched her companion work with rapt fascination. Working together in the Justice League, most of their interaction involved fighting superhuman or alien threats. While she'd been privy to examples of Batman's sterling intelligence and investigative skills beore, it was a rare treat to actually see him in his true element: that of World's Greatest Detective.

The League had seven founding members, six with extranormal powers. But it only took that first battle to realize that the seventh member, even without enhanced physical abilities, was every bit the equal to any of them. Unanimously considered by the rest to be their battlefield commander. And though Wally flippantly referred to Batman as the "brains of the operation", each knew it to be an accurate statement.

He was truly an amazing specimen. Beautiful, graceful, intelligent, and when need be, absolutely cunning and terribly ruthless. If there was ever a man an Amazon could understandably break their "No Man" policy for, it was this one. Not that she'd ever give another Amazon to claim him. As Wally would say, she called "dibs". Diana cocked her head. Then again, given Batman's attire, her Sisters might think him a wraith of Hades and not give him a chance to prove himself. Their loss.

"Are you going to stare at me all night, or are you going to do something useful?"

Diana blushed fiercely. Damn that man. "Of course. Sorry." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear shyly, nervously, and turned to... What should she do? She wasn't an investigator. She had no idea. "Um..."

"Check the computer."

"Right."

Diana sat upon a stool at the lab table and booted up the workstation desktop. As it powered to life, she took another moment to watch Batman work.

He busied himself checking the cryogenic chamber. Cross referencing samples with an inventory list, seeing what, if anything, was missing.

Diana began searching user records, alternately sneaking peeks at her companion. She knew he liked to work silently, intently. But such an occasion as this was too rare to pass up.

"So, Poison Ivy. She's one of your rogues?"

Batman gazed at her blankly, obviously because of her usage of the word "rogue". Diana shrugged. "It's what Wally says."

Batman grunted. "What else does Wally say?"

Diana was about to continue her line of thought on Poison Ivy when a thought tickled at the back of her mind. She instead focused on it, letting it grow. When it bloomed, she turned to Batman, mouth agape, the revelation hitting her suddenly. "You're jealous of him," she realized.

Batman snorted. "Of Wally? The man who spends his Saturday mornings watching cartoons and eating Cocoa Puffs straight from the box?"

"Fine, perhaps not jealous of him, but jealous of his relationship with me."

"Is there reason to be jealous of his relationship with you?"

"Eww! No! Wally's a sweet man, but he's like a brother to me."

"Then why would I be jealous of his relationship with you?"

If he thought his comment would wipe the smile from her face, he couldn't be more wrong. It only grew.

"Oh? So what you're saying is the relationship you would like to have with me isn't sibling in nature? Interesting."

Batman stilled. Beneath the kevlar and nomex, Diana saw his muscles tense. She may have been right on target, but his body language was screaming _"Wonder Woman, drop it. We have work to do." _Diana sighed, begrudgingly admitting he was right. She reluctantly returned the conversation to a more comfortable topic for him.

"What happened with her?"

And suddenly Batman relaxed, although anyone who didn't know him like Diana did might not have noticed. His posture relaxed slightly and he released a short intake of breath.

"Couple years ago, there was an incident on a cruise ship. There was an accident, the ship began to sink. There was a battle...and Ivy went down with the wreckage. I couldn't save her."

The emotion in his voice was palpable. Inside her chest, Diana felt a deep warmth. This was a quality she admired about Batman. Compassion, even for his enemies.

"You feel guilty," she stated.

Batman offered no response. Not on the subject of guilt, at least. He simply continued cross-referencing the cryovault and inventory list. But his voice slipped into "debriefing" mode as he began to relay pertinent date.

"Poison Ivy. Real name Pamela Isley. Holds a doctorate in biology, emphasis on botany, from the University of Seattle. Former professor of botany, Gotham State University. Formed her own independent company devoted to the study and preservation of floral life.

"She has no meta powers, save for resistence to poisons and toxins. However, she has a genius level intellect. She is cunning, ruthless, and fanatically devoted to the preservation of plantlife. Since turning to crime, she's emerged as one of the world's most powerful and feared ecoterrorists. Under no circumstance should she be taken lightly."

Diana nodded. Though her meta abilities were fairly minor, she knew better than to question Batman's judgment. She was but one of many foes that he'd honed his skills against in battle. And anyone who could challenge the Batman so consistently and profoundly was someone to take seriously.

He completed his check and made his way over to the workstation. His focus still on the inventory clipboard, he said, "From what I gather, there are nearly three dozens seed samples missing from the freezer."

Diana indicated the computer. "I searched the records accessed during the break-in. She pulled up topological maps, weather charts and patterns, soil sample readings."

Batman considered this. "The other robberies. More seed samples were taken. Plus tons of fertilizers and nutrients. Ivy...she's planning a massive project. Perhaps to create her own Garden of Eden."

"She accessed charts and data from around the world. How are we supposed to determine where she went?" Diana questioned.

"By ruling out where she didn't go," was the answer. Diana rolled her eyes at the cryptic response, but trusted Batman to know. "The seeds from every laboratory she's hit are indigenous to temperate climates. So we can rule out arctic or tropical climes."

His gauntleted arm brushed against her bare arm as he commandeered the keyboard. Though she didn't feel his skin, Diana felt the heat and shivered. If he noticed, which she didn't doubt since he was in detective mode, he made no mention. He simply pressed a few keys and scores of the search results disappeared.

"They all need a relatively common amount of annual rainfall to survive." A few more keystrokes, even more results disappeared. "Optimal growth requires a certain soil acidity."

More keystrokes. What began as over three hundred possible locations was narrowed to under thirty. Still a lot of ground to cover. Diana wondered if they might need League assistance to search all the areas. But Batman had one last parameter in which to narrow the field.

"And because it's Pamela, she'll want someplace where she can make a statement."

No keystrokes this time. Just ghostly white lensed eyes evaluating the list. After a few moments, he pointed at the screen. "There," he decisively said.

The area in question was a ten square mile patch of land twenty miles north of Gotham. Diana's eyebrows raised. "She would stay so close? Doesn't she fear your presence?"

"She anticipates my presence. The chance to kill me is half her fun."

Diana lightly snorted. Bad guys. Go figure. "Why this area?"

"Up until three years ago, that entire area was woodland. Then some developers purchased up the land, leveled the trees, and set up construction."

"Of what?"

"Condominiums and a strip mall."

For a moment, Diana wondered if Ivy truly was the bad guy in all this. "I suppose an ecoterrorist like Ivy wouldn't like that."

"No. She wouldn't."

Diana rose from her seat. "So now we go stop her, yes?"

"I do, yes."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Poison Ivy is my responsibility. I'll stop her."

She couldn't believe it. After everything they'd been through tonight, he was going to do this to her. Diana narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. Like _hell_ he was.

"You're really going to do this to me?"

"Do what, Princess?"

"I mean pull this whole _"I'm the Batman. Gotham is my responsibility. And I don't need any metas to help." _act."

Batman bowed his head and sighed deeply. "Diana..."

She waved him silent. "Batman," she started. Seeing he had no intention of listening, she switched tacts. "Bruce." His head snapped up at mention of his true name. Before he could protest, she continued.

"I understand your policy, Bruce, I do. I respect what it means to you." She paused, searching for the right words. "I accept that our personal relationship may never become overly...personal. But I thought professionally that you viewed me as more than just a meta. I thought you trusted me." She raised her head, chin thrust forward defiantly. "If I'm mistaken, tell me. I'll return to Watchtower and leave you to this."

Diana met his white lensed gaze, refusing to back down or turn away. After several long moments, a low rumble sounded from Batman's lips.

"Rule one," he said. "I make the rules. Rule two, further rules will be issued when deemed necessary."

A grin threatened to overtake Diana's face. He was doing it. He was allowing her to help him, in Gotham, on a non-Justice League mission. She nearly hugged him, but knew that would be pressing her luck.

Instead, she mock saluted. "Yes, sir."

Batman glared and growled, both more for show than anything else. "Rule three. No smiling."

In an instant, Diana's smile disappeared, replaced by an overly stoic expression. Batman shook his head and made for the door. The instant his back was turned, the smile reappeared.

"Rule four. That includes smiling behind my back."

Diana burst into laughter. Sure enough, moments later, rule number five was issued.

* * *

><p>Emerald Acres Condominiums. Row upon row of cookie cutter starter homes and apartments. Each indistinguishable from any other. To think, only eighteen months earlier, the entire area was encompassed by a dense forest and rolling pastures.<p>

"I've never understand man's need to do...this," Diana said, gazing out the Batmobile window.

"You mean level a perfectly good piece of nature to build generic homes the color of vomit? I think, Princess, that to understand that desire would be the first symptom of madness."

"So that explains the Joker. Before his life of crime, he was a building contractor."

Batman turned to her, an incredulous look on his face. Diana merely stared straight ahead, perfectly serene and serious. Until her lip quirked upwards ever so slightly. And then a miracle happened.

Batman snorted in laughter.

Now it was Diana who stared incredulously, while Batman stared straight ahead. The sound only lasted a moment. So brief it might have been imagined. A single, solitary instance of mirth eminating from the Batman. Diana knew perfectly well it wasn't imagined.

"Twice in one night I've made the Batman laugh," she marveled. "That must be a record."

"I snorted. In amusement. Not the same as a laugh," he denied. Diana grinned. "Be mindful of rule three, Princess."

"Yes, Batman." She resumed gazing out the passenger side window. "Any ideas on where to start looking?"

Straight ahead, at the end of the street, a rooftop exploded off a house. From within, growing up and outwards, was an oak tree. It a matter of ten seconds, the tree was fully grown, it's thick branches creating a majestic canopy.

"There," Batman blandly intoned.

It took two minutes to work the Batmobile up the street. All around them, houses were leveled under the sudden onslaught of rapidly growing plantlife. Trees, vines, flowers. It was like watching time-lapsed photography.

A large mess of vines poured from a manhole in the street, blocking the Batmobile's path. Deciding to proceed on foot, Batman slid the canopy back and both leapt from the car.

With each passing moment, Emerald Acres was transforming into the Garden of Eden Batman mentioned. It was immensely beautiful to watch. And a large portion of Diana felt that this was justice, to return this land to nature. Diana suspected that in a moment of honesty, Batman would agree.

But regardless of personal feelings, while perhaps not a crime against good taste, it was against the law to wantonly destroy these homes. Besides, Ivy's last committment at Arkham ended in her absconding, which was a violation of the conditions of her sentencing. Thus, whether Diana agreed or not, they were duty bound to return her there.

The pair weaved their way down the street, closer to the house where the original oak tree grew. Batman touched his cowl, tabbing at an earpiece. "Alfred, come in." A few moments passed. Alfred obviously responding. "It's Poison Ivy." Another few moments. "I thought so, too, but she's back. Ready countermeasures, Crimson Protocols, Authorization Batman, Epsilon Gamma Stroke Red One. Execute." A moment, then, "Batman out."

"What was that about?" Diana asked.

"Never hurts to be prepared," Batman vaguely answered.

"And you call Clark the boy scout."

Suddenly a disembodied voice called out. Soft, seductive, full of Southern grace and charm. And positively spine chilling.

"Who dares enter my garden?"

The road cracked before them. Asphalt burst away as a massively thick vine pushed up and through. At the end, a giant bulb, which blossomed into a flower. In the center of which was Poison Ivy, as alluring as ever, in a slinky green dress and flowing red hair. She practically purred upon sight of Batman.

"Oh my, if it isn't the Dark Knight. Have you come a courtin', my dear?" she smirked. Her eyes then found Diana and her grin deepened. "Have you brought a housewarming gift to welcome me into the neighborhood?"

"Ivy," Batman flatly greeted, even nodding a bit to his foe in acknowledgement.

"Long time, no see. Miss me?"

"Like a bad rash," Batman smirked.

Ivy, from high upon her perch, scowled. "Oh, that's funny. Of course, I suppose I should expect such a comment from the man who didn't save me."

The smirk was gone, replaced by a deep guilt. "I tried to save you, Ivy. I wanted to save you."

"But yet you didn't. You failed me. Like every other man I've ever known."

It was then that Batman began to notice the physical differences in Ivy. Her skin was no longer the porcelain color he remembered, but rather tinted green. She even appeared to have darker green lines traversing her body, almost like veins.

"You've changed."

Ivy practically glowed in appreciation. "You noticed! Why, in fact, I have, Batman. Just because I spent three years laying low, doesn't mean I didn't keep busy."

She beckoned to her plants, and a thick vine rose up to greet her. The vine caressed along Ivy's body, until the tip rose up to eye level, where it received an affectionate pat on the "head".

"As you can see, Batman, I spent that time deepening my connection to Mother Nature. Chlorophyll nows runs through my veins. My connection to the Green is almost complete. Once my roots here take hold, I'll be able to mentally touch every plant on Earth. I will restore the balance that men like you work so hard to destroy. And this place, where man so recently wiped out my sisters, will become a new Eden."

Diana spoke to Batman, but her eyes never wavered from Ivy. "Is she usually this whiny?"

"Silence!" Ivy bellowed. "Or I shall take my pruning sheers to your tongue!"

"I'd like to see you try."

Ivy smirked. "Very well. Bring me the Amazon."

Suddenly it became abundently clear that Ivy wasn't the only immediate threat. Dozens of people appeared, men and women alike. Dressed in hard hats and work clothes. The very construction workers of the site. They began advancing on Batman and Wonder Woman.

"What's happening?" Diana asked her companion.

"It's Ivy. She creates synthetic pheromones. Uses them to enthrall her victims. They're totally loyal to her."

"Lovely. Any other surprises?"

"Watch out for the plants. She can manipulate them."

"Manipulate how?"

Diana promptly received her answer. From high atop her blossom perch, Ivy reached out for Diana. In response, her pet vine shot forth and wrapped around Diana's legs, jerking her to the ground.

"Diana!" Batman shouted.

He could only watch as the vines dragged her away, towards the clutches of Poison Ivy. But he was helpless to pursue. Ivy's enthralled army was closing in. So he did the only thing he could.

"Diana!" he called again, demanding her attention. Though being roughly dragged over asphalt, she looked back just in time to spot the batarang Batman whipped towards her. She snatched the object out of the air.

From his utility belt, Batman took a few smoke pellets and tossed them to his left. The marbles exploded, releasing their smoke, temporarily blinding and disorienting nearly a dozen would-be attackers. He then went to work on those to his right.

Fortunately for Batman, while the construction workers were completely under Ivy's control, they acquired no extra strength or abilities. They were simply men and women. Which is why he refrained from any maneuvers that might result in long term damage. He powered through the hordes, quickly and efficiently.

Diana plunged the pointed wing of the batarang into the vine wrapped around her, then cut along the length, opening a terrible gash. Green fluid flowed like blood, and the vine released its hold on her, retreating back to Ivy.

Enraged, Ivy screamed, "Don't you hurt my babies!"

Beneath Diana's feet, the ground began to rumble. The asphalt suddenly exploded and a massive vine emerge, coiling around the Amazon like a python. Despite her massive strength, Diana was unable to break free, the vine squeezing the breath from her lungs.

Despite his superior skills, Batman absorbed a few lucky hits. Knocked to the ground, he found a number of vines wrapping around his limbs and hoisting him into the air.

Trapped in Mother Nature's embrace, Diana's eyes found Batman's. Whatever panic she felt rising inside was squashed by his calm demeanor. The Batman didn't panic, so neither would she.

Ivy hummed in delight. "I had rather hoped this night would end with Batman stepping into my trap. But to have the vaunted Amazon, too? I could keep you both!"

A tiny vine stroked at Ivy's chin in a contemplative gesture. "Then again, you've proven quite adept at escaping my traps, Batman. It's probably too risky to keep you alive. The Amazon, however..."

Batman watched as the vine coiled around Diana pulled the Amazon up to Ivy's blossom. "Mmm," Ivy purred. "Lucky for you, I'm in support of powerful women. I think you might have a place in my new Garden. What do you say?"

Diana somehow summoned up the breath to choke out, "Go to Hell."

Ivy laughed. "Sounds like agreement to me. What say we seal the deal then? I know a handshake is customary, but I'm an old fashioned kind of girl."

Despite her best efforts to resist, Diana found her lips mashed against Ivy's. With that kiss, Batman felt his stomach drop. For he knew that with that contact, Diana, Princess of the Amazons, was falling under the thrall of Poison Ivy.

And when Diana's blue eyes flashed green, Batman knew things were about to get much worse.

**END PART**

* * *

><p><em>Oh yeah. How 'bout them apples? On the next episode: Will Ivy enjoy her new main squeeze? (Get it? The vines are squeezing Diana. That stuff is funny.) Tune in for Batman vs. Wonder Woman: Smackdown Edition! Next time on Doctor Who! I mean, Justice League.<em>


	5. Chapter 5

_Alright, boys and girls. Let the smackdown commence. It's Batman v. Wonder Woman. Who will win?_

* * *

><p><strong>PART FIVE<strong>

So, in summation, Poison Ivy now appeared to be a full fledged metahuman with a primordial connection to the Green. Her plants were taking root and soon she would have a connection to plantlife across the globe, which would likely lead to disaster for all mankind. And to top that off, she also had Wonder Woman under a pheromone induced thrall.

Even immobilized in the grip of Ivy's vines, Batman wasn't too worried about Ivy establishing her global connection. In approximately forty-five seconds, that problem would be taken care of. What concerned Batman was the fact that Ivy had mental control over arguably the second most powerful being on the planet.

For the moment, Ivy's attention was focused on Diana, who was still wound tightly by vines.

"I feel you now," Ivy said to Diana. "I feel you connected to the Green. Your mind is now linked to mine and... Oh my." A terrible smirk appeared upon Ivy's lips as she cast a glance in his direction. "All those pent up emotions. All directed towards...Batman." With feigned sympathy, she said to Diana, "Oh, my dear. How he's abused you so. Just like a man. That must offend your Amazon sensibilities. Why don't you make him understand exactly how you feel?

"Yes, Ivy..." Diana murmured.

Ivy grinned. "Mmm. Good. That's my—"

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sound. A loud whistling, coming from the south. She immediately turned a hateful gaze upon Batman.

"What did you do?"

Batman smiled tightly. "Crimson Protocols."

Never let it be said Batman didn't thoroughly prepare. Despite the fact of Ivy's supposed death, he took pains to ensure he'd be ready should she ever arise again. The Crimson Protocols were what he devised.

The backbone of said protocols was the military grade drone currently en route to their location. This drone carried four canninsters of Spectremaldehyde-B, a variant of a potent commercial herbicide developed by Wayne Enterprises. This herbicide was designed to attack and destroy any life dependent on chlorophyll.

Naturally, Batman hadn't planned on the changes to Ivy herself. But that's where a good old fashioned warning came into play.

"Pamela...run."

Half a mile south of the condominium, the drone released the canninsters. Each cannister contained a propellant, and thus were able to spread wide and create the spread necessary. And since each cannister contained hardware that received and calculated weather variables, such as windage, they determined the exact location and altitude in which to detonate.

And detonate they did. From each exploded a fine green mist. Ivy watched in horror as the first particles touched down at the very south end of the condominium. Flowers and vines and trees that once rose high over rooftops began to whither and rot before her eyes.

"My babies!"

The howl of despair that escaped her lips cut him deep. This wasn't an action he wanted to take, but it was a necessary one. His eyes found Ivy's. This time he allowed emotion to slip into his voice.

"Pamela. Go."

Ivy screamed with rage. But she heeded his advice. And not before promising, "We'll meet again, Batman." The blossom deposited Ivy to the ground, and the woman took off quickly to the north, away from the incoming mist.

The mist continued to descend, permeating the landscape. Ivy's Eden cried out its death throes. And just as quickly as it arose in life, it collapsed in death. The two Justice Leaguers were unceremoniously dropped to the asphalt.

First hurdle jumped. Now maybe he would get extremely lucky. Maybe with the demise of Ivy's Eden, her pheromone hold over everyone would break.

But when Diana's eyes found him, Batman knew, it was not his day to get lucky.

"You," she snarled.

"Hell," was his reply.

Like a rocket, Diana launched at him. But Batman was ready, having extracted a few flashbang pellets from his belt. His aim was true, and the phosporous balls ignited in Diana's face.

With a howl of pain, she crash landed, her body impacting asphalt and creating a twenty foot long trench before finally coming to a stop. As she rose unsteadily to her feet, stars appeared in her eyes, the white hot pellets temporarily overloading her retinas.

Batman bought himself thirty seconds. Once Diana regained her vision, he'd have an enthralled, angry Amazon bearing down on him. Batman used the time to race for cover, bolting inside the nearest house, and tried to formulate a battleplan.

Batman was supremely confident in his combat abilities. There wasn't a hand-to-hand combat tactic in the world that he didn't know of, and only a few he couldn't claim mastery over.

In training exercises and sparring sessions, Batman routinely defeated Diana in scenarios where she "powered down". That is, when she purposely forewent using her Olympus derived meta abilities. And even during sessions where she went full power, Batman won often enough to severely frustrate the Amazon.

Against a fully powered Diana, Batman depended on quick strikes and submission maneuvers. When he won, the fight was over quickly. It was the drawn out affairs that resulted in defeats.

The knowledge that he could defeat Diana even when powered did little to comfort Batman. Because during training exercises, there were rules of conduct. Neither combatant used illegal maneuvers or those which might lead to severe injury. In essence, they fought fair.

And this definitely wasn't a training exercise. This was live combat. And during a real fight, Batman knew, fighting fair was a good way to get your ass kicked.

In the past, Ivy's pheromones had proven to have a shelf life. After a certain period of time, their effects wore off. However, depending on the potency on the compound, an individual might be entralled for fifteen minutes or longer.

In boxing terms, that was five rounds. And confident as he was in his abilities, Batman held no delusions that he could last five rounds against a fully powered, combat ready Amazon. And now, with Ivy's powers ramped up into the meta range, he had no idea if any of the old rules still applied. For all he knew, Diana would remain in her control until she was forcibly snapped out of it.

So he needed to end this fight quickly and decisively. Past experience had shown the best way to cure an enthralled victim of Ivy's was to introduce as shock to the system. Force the person's consciousness to rise through the haze of Ivy's pheromones.

Somehow, Batman didn't think splashing water in Diana's face would do the trick. A few flashbangs sure as hell didn't. He needed something big, something powerful, something...

Well, shocking.

And suddenly, Batman had devised a plan that would likely get him killed.

"Batman!" Diana bellowed. "Come face me, coward!"

Unfortunately, his plan involved doing just that.

"Look at what you've done!" she cried. "Is this what you do to every woman you meet, Batman? Destroy their spirit and soul?"

And of course Ivy's pheromones tended to reduce her victim's inhibitions. This was gonna get...interesting.

"Ivy merely wanted a place in this world to call her own. But you couldn't even grant her that. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Bruce Wayne, the infamous Playboy of Gotham, unsympathetic to the wants and desires of the women he so casually abuses. Were this Themyscira, we would place your head upon a pike before the Temple of Athena."

Okay, he needed to end this. Now. He stepped into the open front doorway of the house. "Diana-!"

Like a bullet, Diana was airborne and rifling towards him. Batman reached for the front latch of his utility belt, opening the compartment and pressing a button. He then braced for impact.

The Amazon led with her fists, impacting square into his chest, gripping his uniform. But she didn't stop there. She carried him, flying across the living room, slamming him through the outer wall. Continuing across the backyard, then the front yard of the next house, before slamming him through the heavy wooden door and skidding to a stop.

And so Batman found himself flat on his back upon an atrociously colored carpet, an enraged Amazon atop him, her hands wrapped around his neck. Every bone and muscle in his body ached. Thankfully, if this plan didn't work, he wouldn't have to worry about pain for much longer.

"To think I've wasted my time on you," she growled. "A man so stubborn, so self-absorbed that he would refuse a gift from the gods themselves. And you do so without a hint of regret or compassion."

Batman's gauntleted hands grasped feebly at Diana's wrists, trying to remove her hands from around his throat. The pressure was slowly building. Even if he survived this, his neck would be bruised for weeks. And he might be unable to talk for days. Looking into her eyes, he saw she was gazing into his. The fury, the malice. She was savoring slowly crushing the life from him.

"Diana..." he gasped.

"Shut up!" she spat. "Do you know how it feels every time you deny me? Every time you so casually discard my affections? It feels like I can't breathe. It feels like being crushed." Her face was but inches from his now. "I want you to feel how I feel."

"I'm sorry," he managed to choke.

"Yes!" she screamed. "Beg for forgiveness! Tell me how sorry you are for destroying my heart and soul! Die with your sins confessed."

"Am...sorry...for hurting...you," he admitted. "Also...sorry...for this."

Suddenly, Batman's hands were on either side of her head, and what felt like a bolt of lightning coursed through Diana's body. She let loose an ethereal howl of pain, her hands releasing from around his neck. But Batman kept a firm hold.

The button he pressed on his utility belt engaged a thirty second timer. That timer was tied into an emergency defense program installed into the costume of every Batclan member. Ordinarily, the program only engaged whenever the suit's biometric readings indicated its wearer was dead, unconscious, or otherwise incapacitated. In the event any third party tried to remove the suit without an override command, the suit would discharge up to ten thousand volts as a countermeasure.

And every single one of those volts was being discharged into Diana.

It felt like eternity, but the suit only retained enough charge to sustain five seconds. But even once the electricity was depleted, Diana's scream of pain continued for a few seconds longer, until it finally segued into a gasp and whimper, and she collapsed in a heap upon his sore and bruised chest, her head falling into the crook of his shoulder.

"Ow," he groaned.

About ten seconds later, Diana began to rouse back to consciousness. Her hair wild and frayed, her cheeks flushed and pink. Obvious effects of the electricity.

Batman knew all about struggling to breath. He felt it everytime he looked at her.

"Still want to kill me?" he gasped.

With the slightest of grins, "No more than usual."

Batman chuckled. Bad idea. It hurt like hell. Diana gasped, the realization of what she'd done hitting in force.

"Oh God, Bruce... I'm so sorry-"

"S'okay. You were under Ivy's control."

Diana remained laying atop him, gazing down. It was almost intimate, romantic. Except-

"No offense, but I'm injured and you're heavy, so if you would...?"

"Oh!"

Diana rolled off his chest, but didn't go too far. His left bicep made for an excellent pillow. They gazed upwards to the ceiling, mostly torn away. Something had obviously grown up through the roof, exposing the night sky.

"I see Perseus," she said.

"And Cassiopeia," Batman put in.

"It's a lovely night."

Batman hummed agreement. "You don't get this view in the city. Smog."

They laid on the floor in comfortable silence for several minutes, occasionally pointing out stars. It wasn't exactly the date Diana had imagined, but it was certainly gonna be a memorable one. Finally, Batman groaned and shifted his position.

"I hate to spoil our evening, Princess, but can we teleport to Watchtower infirmary? I think I'm bleeding internally."

**END PART**

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><p><em>Hope that was good for you as it was for me. The finale, part six, is getting the polishing touches today. It should be ready to go tomorrow sometime. If you enjoyed this part and the story thus far, please, review. It might prompt me to work on other plot bunnies I have hopping around.<em>


	6. Chapter 6

_Sorry for the delay. I said this would be posted two days ago. But I got distracted by something shiny. Thanks for all the reviews. I hope you've enjoyed the story. And this is it, the final part of "One Night in Gotham"._

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><p><strong>EPILOGUE<strong>

With Batman in the Watchtower infirmary for three days after their date, it was up to Diana and the Batclan to clean up the mess.

It was a joy working with Batman's surrogate family, and Nightwing in particular seemed to reciprocate the sentiment. "So you're the girl he occasionally pulls his head out of his ass for, huh? Mad props to you, Princess," Nightwing grinned. Diana decided she liked the young man immensely.

It took very little work to round up Ivy's enthralled victims. Most continued to putter around the construction site aimlessly, lost without their mistress. Batgirl supplied an anti-pheromone agent to Gotham General, and within forty-eight hours, everyone was recovered and sent home.

It took another day to round up Poison Ivy. It proved to be a major coup. They found her in a seedy nightclub on Gotham's Lower East End. Turns out she was meeting Harley Quinn for drinks. Gotham's bad girls were each about four martinis into their reminiscences when Diana and the Batclan burst in. With both women well on their way to drunk, they provided little resistance.

So in a matter of ten minutes, Diana, Nightwing, Batgirl, and Robin took down two of Gotham's most notorious supervillians, along with a dozen other thugs wanted on various probation violations and warrants. Ten minutes after that, they were loading their prisoners into armored vans under the personal supervision of Commissioner Gordon.

"Wonder Wo- Diana," Gordon amended. "You're working with the Batman's crew now?"

"One show only, I'm afraid," Diana smiled.

"Don't count on that," Batgirl not-so-quietly said to Robin.

"I have to say I agree," Gordon answered. "Seems you fit right in. Even Batman doesn't usually bring us two of Arkham's finest at once." He again nodded his thanks and resumed supervision of the transport.

"So how's the old man?" Nightwing asked.

Diana blushed guiltily. "Uh, a few cracked ribs, mild concussion, bruised larynx, and electric burns. Apparently I was none too gentle while under Ivy's influence."

"Don't feel too bad," Nightwing said. "The old man needs a good thumping once in a while. Keeps him honest."

"You can say that again," Batgirl and Robin intoned.

Nightwing grinned at his colleagues. "What I think we're saying, Diana, is that we'd all appreciate your continued efforts to keep him in line. Truth be told, I don't think he'd mind, either."

Diana smiled sadly. "He proclaims otherwise. Quite loudly, sometimes."

"That's just his way," Batgirl assured. "He thinks alternating between being a grumpy gus and obnoxious jerk gives the illusion he's in control. For such a complicated man, he's amazingly simple."

"What she said," Nightwing agreed. "The key to success to with Batman is to know when to ignore him."

"Which is when?"

"Pretty much any time that isn't life or death. How else do you think Alfred's managed to work for him all these years?"

Diana stared. "So your advice is to...?"

"Ignore him, yes" Nightwing said. Robin and Batgirl nodded sagely in agreement. "With Bruce, if you want something from him, you gotta grab it. That's how Tim and I became Robin, how Barb became Batgirl. Sure, he protests and glowers, but if he really wants to stop you, he can and will."

"He just wants people to prove they're dedicated to him and what he does," Batgirl explained. "Just be prepared for him to keep making excuses and pushing you away. He's an odd bird. Always thinks he needs to protect others from himself."

Diana smiled. That certainly sounded like Batman. "Good to know. But I'm not quite sure where all this advice is coming from."

"It's based on your obvious infatuation with our boss," Nightwing supplied.

Diana sputtered. "I am not-!"

"You called Watchtower five times tonight checking up on him," Batgirl said.

"Six," Robin corrected. "She called once while you used the bathroom."

"Seven," Nightwing corrected. "Diana called when she went to the bathroom, too."

Mouth agape, Diana wondered how the hell he knew that. But his cocky grin was all the answer she needed. He was the son of the World's Greatest Detective. The apple certainly didn't fall far.

"It almost sounds like you're supporting my feelings for him."

"We are. And not just because you're the most agreeable option. Not that Selina Kyle and Talia Al Ghul aren't setting a low hurdle to leap. But you're the only one, I think, who isn't interested in changing him."

"Which is good," Batgirl agreed, "because he's never gonna change. Not in any significant way, at least. But if you're persistent and forceful, you can build a place in his life. The only question will be if you can accept however much he gives in return."

Diana returned to Watchtower shortly thereafter to discover that Batman had teleported back down to the Batcave. With a sigh, Diana resigned herself to not seeing him until the next crisis or Founder's meeting, whichever came first.

Three days later, it was a Founder's meeting. Nothing of particular note, it wrapped up inside an hour. Batman bruskly stood and moved to depart quickly, as was his fashion. Diana didn't care if she looked strange chasing after him. She caught up down the hall, and after a bit of coaxing, convinced him to join her in a break room.

"Did you need something, Princess?"

"I just wanted to say thank you." His brows raised beneath the cowl. "For trusting me. I'm honored you allowed me to join you on a mission in Gotham. And I want you to know, if you ever require assistance again, don't hesitate to call me. The League doesn't need to know."

She had expected him to reject her offer. And it even appeared he was about to. But to the surprise of both, he merely nodded in acquiescense.

"I also want you to know, Bruce, that I'm truly not looking for anything you aren't ready or willing to give. But it means a lot that you trusted me the other night."

Batman allowed himself the slightest of smiles. "Truth be told, it wasn't altogether unpleasant. Even though you were mostly useless and I had to save you."

Anger flared momentarily. But when she saw his smile morph into a smirk, her anger was forgotten and she gaped in amazement. "You're teasing me? Are you still concussed?" Batman chuckled. It was amazing how wonderful it felt knowing she caused it.

Diana was content to leave things at that. But as she turned away, she felt a gloved hand wrap around her wrist. Looking back to Batman, she was struck by his almost bashful appearance. He refused to meet her eyes.

"Would you like to attend a concert with me?"

Today was obviously a day for surprises. Then again, the past week had brought one surprise after another. What with driving the Batmobile, an impromptu mission/date with Batman, and working with his family.

"Pardon?"

"A concert. With me. Want to?"

He was obviously uncomfortable having such a conversation in the cowl. Nor was he able to summon up the suaveness of Bruce Wayne. It was, frankly, adorable.

"I...okay. Who are we seeing?"

"Arsenic and Old Lace."

Diana gaped. "How? Those tickets have been sold out for weeks!"

Batman shrugged. "I'm Bruce Wayne."

And no further explanation was required. Diana grinned. "Are you sure? There's going to be lots of people. Metropolis Metrodome seats forty thousand."

"I'll deal. Can't be worse than the last concert I attended."

"Why? What happened?"

"Someone tried to incinerate the main act."

"Oh."

Batman finally managed to meet her eyes. "I'm not offering anything beyond a concert," he said. It almost sounded convincing, but Diana swore she heard an unspoken "yet" tagged at the end.

"So long as you buy me a concert t-shirt, I can accept that." Batman swore he heard a silent "for now" at the end of her statement.

After a nod of agreement, he said, "One request." Diana nodded back, begging him to proceed. "When we attend the show...I drive."

Diana mocked gasped. "I wasn't _that_ bad," she called after his retreating form.

"You destroyed that gearbox," he threw over his shoulder.

"I did not!"

"And I had to replace the afterburner fuel. Do you know what a pain that is?"

"The look on your face when I used the afterburners was priceless. Like a scared little child."

His purpose in Gotham temporarily forgotten, Batman walked with Diana to the commissary, the pair squabbling all the way.

**THE END**

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><p><em>Well, I hope you all enjoyed. I may do another multi-part story here in the future. I also have an idea for a one-shot that might be fun. Until then, goodbye! Thanks for all the reviews!<em>


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